"What to do with ornaments when Xmas is over" (guest writer Sam Lantinga)

As most of you know, we have a (bad) habit with dumpster diving. It's sort of like the plague. Whenever the mood strikes us, it's off to the dumpster. One day last week, in a large suitcase, we found a stuffed Santa ornament! We didn't have any need for him, so we randomly hid St. Nick in each other's rooms. Well, one day, I looked at him and I thought, what would happen if we froze him? So, I stuck him in our ice-cube bin and filled it with water.

Then I forgot about the jolly old man. Until today! My mom needed some ice for her Coke, went up to my room to get it, and brought him down instead.  We all had a good laugh.

Then, while the three members of the family whose names don’t start with the letter “s” were arguing, my mother whispered, “what would happen if we threw him off the roof?” Classic. And so, the adventure began. Up to the roof!

And, just as speedily, down from the roof to inspect the crime scene. We found that his ice casing had been destroyed, but he himself  was still frozen.

To break the ice inside the Saint,  I chucked him as high as I could. When he landed on the road, he quickly took off again for about two feet. He bounced, surprising both my mother and myself.

The ice inside him was still intact. (I just discovered "Mr. Bill" from old Saturday Night Live episodes.  See the resemblance?)

So, after we showed him off to the rest of the family, I took him upstairs to the boys' room. Or the party room, as its known in some circles. Sinterklaus is now back in the icebox.  Round 2 awaits.

Round 2 awaits.