Blushless Pleas for Grading Mercies

As an American professor for 16 years, I listened to many pleas for grading leniency. Although my younger professor self really agonized over appropriate responses to requests for mercy, I now find their pleas kind of exhausting endearing.

Now, last semester, when I told my beloved TA that I don't like to post final grades until students have left campus, she was bewildered.  I explained: I do not want to spend time and energy scheduling meetings with students begging for more points, tearfully claiming endangered scholarships and shipwrecked lives.  She, like most strong university students, was completely unaware of the deluge of "oh please oh please have mercy on me" messages that professors get.  Surely, she thought, this would not happen in Korea.  Students here have far more respect for their professors.

It was an empirical question.  And...she was wrong.  Here are a few examples of last semester's desperate messages, couched in painfully polite e-mails. I have omitted names here but made no other changes. You can't make this stuff up.

Hello, Professor. This is Student X.I hope you have a fantastic summer in Korea. I love summer must and Korea has many good place to take a rest. I hope you enjoy those things.Actually I have a request to you.I know these demand is such blushless.So, my request is, If my grade is not far away from B+, can you upgrade my score…?Actually I preparing for graduate school, but my total GPA is quiet low…So this semester, I try to do my best but that was maybe not enough.I know, I should more work hard before exam. So now I am so sorry that ask like these demand to you. But, if you can please give me a favor.Then, have a nice vacation professor!

That student kept her reported grade of B.

This next student had a higher grade but still was not happy:

Hello professor! 
I have enjoyed the class very much and I would like to thank you for all your support and for the lectures!
It was very fun, and helpful.
I wish I can take another class of yours when I come back to school :)
I have checked my grades today and was quite disappointed :(
Could you please let me know the breakdown scores for my grade?
I am a bit cautious whether I am giving you more work.
Would there be any other extra work that I could do to improve my grade please?
I am planing to go to Graduate school and study further, and my grades are quite weak.
I really want to do anything, if possible, to improve my grade!
Thank you very much professor!
I hope you have a great and enjoyable holiday. 

I did not offer extra work after a 16-week semester during which this student did not pursue the offered extra credit opportunities.

And, my favorite, from a weak student who did not submit the final paper (worth 20% of the course grade):

am i really F grade?

i respect your decision and i will agree

however i suggest you revise your standard

it is unfair to student who try to study and don't give up.

surely it is my opinion.

anyway i really appreciate your help and lecture

have a nice vacation!

Ahem.  "Surely it is my opinion ... " that his grade stands.

Poor puppies.