Is it me? The culture? Or are these people crazy?

Today I present you with four short stories of Weird Stuff that I have a hard time explaining. :)

(1) A Korean woman mentioned to me that her one-year-old likes to visit her in the bathroom. He enjoys pushing the buttons on the bidet because they make such fun noises. And that is too much information right there, folks.

(2) On a warm sunny day at the Bukbu beach boardwalk last fall, I saw a Korean mother stop with her young daughter, take off the girl's plastic sandals, and put rain boots on her feet before allowing her onto the sand. Wait, what? I have no place in my mind for fun time at beach = rain boots. Nope.

(3) Many (most?) Koreans are painfully shy about their English abilities and try to avoid talking to foreigners. Many times we have seen staff at restaurants, clothing stores, and even the orthodontist argue about who has to deal with us (sometimes resorting to the Korean version of rock-paper-scissors to select a "winner.") So having an older Korean man shout at Elisabeth and I while we were walking along "stream street" (a car-free shopping area downtown), took us rather by surprise at first.

Man: You American? From America? You English teacher?

Me: Yes, hi. Oh - you must be Tailor Joe. I have heard about you from other foreigners {the guy has a reputation for approaching ex-pats}.

Joe: Yes! Tailor Joe! You hear of me? I fix all your clothes! I make you new housecoat! Comforter set! Matching curtains! I make very cheap! Many American military like me!

Me: Um, ok, thanks.  That's good to know. I don't need anything right now, though, but thank you.

Joe: I very cheap! Want to come see my shop - very close! I can fix anything!

Me: Well... ok. {I'm a sucker for adventures like this.  We walked several blocks, Elisabeth's eyes getting larger and her hands clinging tighter to my arm as the neighborhood quality quickly descended from glam to ghetto.}

Joe (who never stops talking): So maybe you need new housecoat? I do embroidering - any design! How about you need a sexy lady thong?  You married? I make thong for your husband, too!

And so it went until we entered his smoky "Oriental Secret" shop, filled with barely-clad mannequins sporting silky dragon-embroidered robes along with various, ah, shall we say, "leather goods." Well. Well. I refused his offer of coffee and tea, and we escaped quickly, never feeling terribly unsafe but certainly feeling rather unclean.

(4) Last week I stopped at our hardware store to get a hose for the community garden. Perhaps I've mentioned "our" hardware store before - once you choose a store and get to know the owner over several visits, a certain trust/loyalty builds up. We have come to love "our" hardware guy, who always stops whatever he is doing when we show up (normally, he throws down his cigarette), says OOH! in a happy voice, and greets us with a smile.

Anyway, Tracey and I were so greeted (OOH! plus drop-and-stomp cigarette routine) and we explained what we needed. His English is better than our Korean and we quickly selected the hose. He measured out the 20 meters we wanted plus 3 meters of "service" (pronounced "saw-bee-suh" and meant to convey "free stuff I give you because of our mutual loyalty"). Then, quite out of nowhere, he asked if we needed a husband.

Whoa. Now that was a whole new twist to the hardware store routine. Um. Well. NO, neither of us needs a husband. But he insisted. This was weird. No, no husbands! We are married. We backed away a little nervously, wondering what crazy world we had entered and what we had agreed to by accepting those extra 3 meters of hose. He sighed with some exasperation, stalked down a tiny aisles, and returned with a clamp. A hose clamp. AHA! A HOSE BAND! ahahahaha! Well, that sure was awkward.