Corporate Customer Service: Mistakes were Made

Perhaps you can imagine the challenges of effective customer service and persuasive marketing strategies in a second language, especially when that language is English (what a horrible language that adopts any old word that comes along instead of following things like RULES) and when the intended audience is mostly native English speakers hired by the government to teach English. Though valiant attempts at such service and marketing are made, they can go badly wrong, as demonstrated here, in a document we received from our Korean car insurance company.

Now, I love that they're eager to communicate with English-speaking customers.  I truly do.  But when a company is pleased to semi-annually remove significant chunks of money from my bank account, I expect something along the lines of glossy, proofread, tri-fold brochures.  Or at least something more self-respecting than a document written by underpaid and unsupervised interns during happy hour. Let's take a look. 

Here is an overview of the front and back side of the (cheaply printed) document.  Even without reading the fine print (we'll get to that shortly), one might wonder about the credibility of a company still addicted to 1990s clip art.

Ok, let's take a look at the details now, shall we?

This is a promising start in cheerful colors and readable fonts.
It suggests that Korean insurance folks may be more friendly and laid back than
the lawyers running the fine print show back home.

Now for a summary of their services:

These benefits seem like good ideas for US companies to adopt.
Then one begins to notice a few writing errors. And upside-down clip art.
And tiny little seeds of doubt may be planted about the credibility of folks providing these benefits.

Accessing the services is described next:

 I like their thoughtfulness in anticipating customer questions.
But. why is a tiny mushroom smiling in one graphic while a tortured man is screaming?
Are either of these the "other korean" to which I should change my call?

Ok, that was the first page.  Here is the flip side, where things move past endearingly strange.

So, if I'm not at fault then I make a call but don't take pictures.
But if the accident IS my fault then I should ...take a selfie? with the guy I hit?

Note that the word DRUNKEN was on a sticker pasted over the word "Drinking." Either way, it appears to describe the condition of the writer. 

Gentle reader, have you forgotten this is a document from my car insurance agency, whom I trust to have my back? Here is their final bit of advice:

Taxi and Bus chasing? Illegal parking is ok if the hood is open?  WHAT?
This section was surely scratched onto a napkin over a late-night bottle
on a binge, and the boss didn't bother to look it over.
And, no, I did not add the thought bubble above the woman’s head.

There you have it: Korean car insurance as as presented to foreign customer. As their motto says, this piece of paper will "make the difference between carelessness and security."  I couldn’t have drunken it better myself.